Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Titusville, New Jersey
Always an Adventure...
Ok this one will be shorter, I promise.
I'm at dinner with, you guessed it, Carrie. We're reviewing the menu, deciding what looks good. She says, "Ooh they have blackened chicken, don't you like stuff blackened?" "Yeah I do" I reply "but I think with the condition of my stomach right now, if I ate it I'd be effed." I really used the word 'effed' and not the other word.
Still looking at the menu she thoughtlessly says, "You'd be effed huh?" She looks off into the distance for a second, squints, then looks right at me, "Could you imagine if you're name was actually 'Effed'?" I look up at her as an amused smile starts across my face. Is this another soon famous Carrie rant? She continues, "I mean think about it" she starts and its confirmed - its a rant, "if you were in grade school and the teacher asked you what your name was and you answered honestly, 'I'm effed'. The teacher gives you one look and says, 'yeah you are'!"
My smile turns to a laugh as I notice a gentleman behind her at another table cover his mouth with his napkin in attempt to stiffle a chuckle. I know he heard her. She doesn't know he's there - or listening. This is typical Carrie, I'm loving this.
She continues, "...or in business: 'yes we are very interested in your services, with whom am I speaking?' 'Oh I'm Effed.' 'Hmmm, I seeee. Do you have a manager I could speak with who's not'?" My shoulders are now bouncing uncontrollably as tears well up. The entire table behind Carrie has bouncing shoulders as well, they're working hard to keep it quiet. As soon as I notice this the tears start to fall and I'm hysterical.
The waitress comes over to the table and says, "I'm sorry for the wait, can I start you off with-" she stops, looks at me, looks at the table behind Carrie, and quietly asks smiling, "Is everyone ok here?" Carrie quickly says, "Oh yeah we're fine, we were just wondering what would happen" she points right at me "if he was effed." She looks back at the menu like everythings normal and I'm laughing even harder - so is the table behind her - so is the waitress. Carrie calmly and obliviously says, "We're actually going to need a few more minutes, we got a little side tracked." I can't stop laughing, now I'm sweating. Finally she looks up, sees my crimson face, and says, "Jeez it wasn't that funny." Carrie...if you only knew.
Always an adventure...
Last edited by LibertyPilot; 05-11-2010 at 02:26 PM.