Latest Carrie Adventure
For those that care to follow.
Ok I need to preface this story with this: I'm am one uncontrollably sarcastic son of a bitch. Some of you may know this, some of you don't, that's why I'm stating it. It actually wouldn't be that bad - if I had one tiny droplet of control over it. I don't.
Its Saturday afternoon. Small thin white clouds hover in an otherwise clear blue sky and its 78 degrees. I have plans to take Carrie out on the bike she so adores. She told me she has company but that they wouldn't mind. In fact they'd like to meet me. Fair enough.
I take a blissful ride over to her place and park the meanie. I usually don't knock but she has company. Knock knock. I wait a few seconds and the door opens just a crack. A few seconds more and it lethargically, almost painfully opens. An adorable young brunette with electric blue eyes is standing in front of me wearing very small rolled grey shorts, a white halter top, and a book. Not kidding - she's wearing a book on her head. Its a closed hardback, its about an inch thick, and at best its precarious.
Uncontrollably I blurt, "HA HA HA HI!!!" I motion around my head with my hand and say smiling, "Is that Chauser? Is Carrie here?"
Blank expression brunette slowly says, "yes, come in." Stiff as a board she slowly turns around and walks further inside still expertly balancing the book. I get inside and see a second book balancer - oh no, there's two. This ones tall and slim with blonde curly hair and dark brown eyes. She's clad in equal scant. Her long bare legs are topped with tiny green shorts and she more than fills her plunging black tank top. The 2 beauties, books on heads, are taking some of the slowest steps I've ever seen, following each other around the dining room table.
"Be down in a minute!" I hear from Carrie up stairs. I glance at the ladies, "take your time!" Carrie, knowing I'm a smart ass, then hollers "That's Katie and Kelly, the friends I told you about, they're models." I yell, "of course they are." She hollers back, "they have a gig tonight! Be nice!" I look at them again then yell up the stairs, "I'm always nice!"
I'm now leaning against the back of the couch with feet crossed at the ankles and arms folded. I'm sporting the dirt eating grin I know radiates sarcasm. Where do I begin? "Do questions distract you ladies?" Katie or Kelly, still not sure which is which, speaks up "distractions can occur in the field." "Pffff hm hm hmm, in the field? Is that were your gig is tonight?" No response just more slow and controlled steps around the table. I continue, "are you reminding yourselves to walk to slow?" Nothing. "Unless you're reading. Is that how you read? Osmosis? Ya know you'd make great editors if that were the case. A few laps and you're done." I told you, no control.
"Mike!" Carrie yells, "leave them alone!" I look up the stairs, back at the circling models, then back up the stairs. "I.....I can't!" "Sit down Mike I'll be right down," she's a tad more stern. I think she loves and hates that I'm incorrigible. I can't pass this up, I just can't. I say to Katie n Kelly, "Hey do you mind if I join you while I wait?" K or K replies, "not at all, books are on the computer desk in the corner." Obliging scantily clad models aren't they?
I shuffle over to the computer desk and peruse the literature selection. I say, "hey how do you choose a book? Is it by weight? By author?" K or K, "by thickness, you want some weigh but not too much. You have to catch it if it falls" she's dead serious. I stiffle a belly laugh, it comes out as a chuckle. "Does hardback or soft cover matter?" K or K, "hard backs harder." Enter previously quelled belly laugh.
'Mandate from Heaven: China's Troubled 60's' how could I lose? I pluck the hardback from the desk, walk over to K or K, and wait for a spot to jump in. One K passes, I put the book on my head, and go for it. I almost can't believe what I'm doing. My steps are slow, I'm keeping pace. 'Don't drop the book Mike - niether of them did yet.' My eye's momentarily drop to the K in front of me. I wonder if I've ever seen a more perfect tiny behind. My eye brows go up and the book almost comes off my head - I recover. 'Eyes up Mike, you can do this - focus.'
"See" the K behind me says, "its not that easy." Its really not. Especially when you have a half naked model in front of you. Suddenly I hear a loud cackle behind me, I know its Carrie. "WHAAAAT are you doing!?" she yells to me. "Being a model," I answer, "its actually not that easy." "I know" she says, "I used to have to do it."
The book falls off my head and I catch it. I step out of the loop. "You were a model?" I ask. "Yeah, that's how I met Katie and Kelly." "Oh, I didn't know you did that." "Yeah, a few years ago." "Ok, so ahhh which is which?" I ask. A hand goes up, "I'm katie" the other one, "I'm Kelly" books still securely planted on heads. Man these girls are good. "Nice to meet you both." In unison, "Nice to meet you too."
Carrie turns to me and says, "you ready?" "Yup," I answer, "see ya later ladies, good luck tonight." In unison, "thaaaanks!"
Always an adventure.
Last edited by LibertyPilot; 05-07-2010 at 01:23 PM.